today i sat at a desk from 9am-4pm. it was both beautiful and brutal. i attended a day long counseling seminar as a way to start easing my way back into schooling and studying. i am content knowing that this will be a long and drawn out process that will most likely include many starts and stops as life and current responsibilities and desires and gifts all find a way to work together.
the way it pushed my brain in a different direction was a welcomed thing. the way it pushed nothing else was not. antsy does not even begin to describe how i felt physically. i almost volunteered to get up and serve snacks and drinks each session. how do people sit still for that long?? at a particularly overly dramatic 3pm afternoon doldrums moment i even thought, “i don’t think i could be a full-time student again!” reality then nudged me and reminded me classes don’t typically follow the 9-4 format. whew.
but if i look back ten years, desk sitting was my norm and watching someone running around with a few kids would have made me want to take a 9-4 nap.