i thought i was doing fairly well handling the whole “we won’t have a job soon” situation. but isn’t it strange how there can be a bit of mind/body disconnect in such stressful situations? i thought i was doing great and i think i even patted myself on the back a few times and probably said to myself, “look how trusting i am!” and then a few stress-related sickness issues pop up that don’t exactly help keep up a positive atmosphere.
perhaps i’ve not been so trusting. i think i’ve been becoming adept at the art of ignoring or denying. or i could just step back from everything and realize that i’ve been doing all of the above: trusting, ignoring, denying.
mornings are the hardest right now. on one hand i’m usually rested, the boys are happy, coffee is available, and i can eat eggs out of cute egg cups. on the other hand, it’s a whole other day of not knowing sitting before me.
i’ve been reading through the psalms at the moment and know that trusting in the lord is a rather important theme. but on some days i’m just not sure what that even means. difficult times are such a two-sided thing, aren’t they? you know God will honor your desire to be faithful and patient and trusting. you trust that there is maturing going on. but it’s also just plain hard.