a not so silent night


omar and i visited a friend’s church last night for their lessons and carols service.  we toted asher along with us and as he snuggled down in the sling i enjoyed the service.  citychurch used the space of another church and set up the chairs “in the round” with stringed instruments and singers in the center.  candles lit the space and it was beautiful.  as friends know, i often struggle with my calling as a mother and know i can’t even put the struggles and frustrations i have into words at times.  but there i sat with scripture after scripture being read that reminded me god truly honors motherhood.  he chose a simple girl to give birth to his son.  for many reasons he didn’t have to have christ born and raised by a mother, but he did.  i must say mary’s magnificat rings a bit louder and clearer to me this year.

  My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant.  For behold, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for he who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.

the service ended with “silent night” and with perfect timing asher began to belt out his own version, complete with yelps and screams.  that’s when it occurred to me – i don’t think there was anything silent about that night.  mary’s cries were real and christ’s screams were real.  i don’t believe it was calm or bright but loud and messy.  and that’s a good thing.  i can relate to loud and messy.  asher was just keeping it real.


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