one of those

a recycled but loved photo

it was one of those weeks where mothering and parenting seemed beyond me.  i felt out of step at most moments.  my mind has been on moving and the excitement of a house and a yard.  i took the boys to a friend’s house and saw their little garden coming along.  i’m eager to start something with the boys, even it if is just some herbs.  

i read sally clarkson’s the mission of motherhood a ways back and have mostly positive things to say about it.  i was flipping through the pages this morning and came across this passage:

Children do not accidentally become mature adults of strong character, great faith, gracious relational skills, effective leadership qualities, and sharp intellects.  God’s design includes the presence of a hands-on gardener, a mother to tend and cultivate their hearts, souls, minds, and relationships.  As a garden cannot flourish without a gardener, neither can a child reach his or her potential without someone committed to careful cultivation.  Just as a garden without a gardener will eventually go to seed and be covered over with weeds and debris, a child whose growth is unsupervised or left to chance will likely grow wild and undisciplined or stunted and unfruitful.  p142

i do realize that it is not just mothers who are cultivators but fathers and other family and friends and your community.  but i approached the passage as an often weary mother of two who feels like much of her parenting can be reacting rather than cultivating.

nicole quoted an interesting passage from maria montessori on a child’s independence that has had me thinking the past few days.  i mentioned to her that finding the balance between guiding and coddling your young child is often difficult.  the gardening analogy is helping, i think.  over-tending, over-watering is as detrimental as letting it run wild.    

so perhaps mothering as gardener will help reorient my crazy self over the next few days.  

happy

omar and i liked the name asher and we thought it was great that it meant “happy” but didn’t think about it much.  and then we had asher and realized that (on the whole) this kid is indeed the definition of happy.  so i will now be sure that whatever name we pick for a future kid will not have anything in its meaning relating to being un-happy.  just as a precaution.  

 

 

missing

i’m beginning to dread moving.  really dread.  i’m quite the organized one but even now i am letting little piles build up here and there because the thought of organizing then reorganizing then packing wears me out.  i thought about hiring packers for a brief second the other day then realized they would cost too much and that it’s the actual building up to packing that gets me.  and i’m wary of packers.  i still believe the packers stole some of our nintendo games when we were moving to alaska.  the missing ducktales game hit me the hardest.

so i know i’m stressed when i rush to get out of the house and go grocery shopping.  and then while there everything makes me sad that we’re moving. note:  i know i’m being a bit dramatic here, especially when we are moving oh…5 miles or so away, but i won’t be coming to this part of town to do my everyday stuff so bear with me.  all the ladies at publix smiled and waved at asher.  the bagger who guessed asher would be a boy wasn’t there today but our cashier was sweet and spoke to me in broken english.  then my favorite postal worker from the post office walked by me.  he is always singing oldies songs while working and evidently sings oldies songs while shopping.  i grabbed a doughnut and relished eating it without little two year old hands grabbing at it (woo hoo for days at grandma’s).

but now i’m back sitting amidst piles of stuff that needs to be tossed or packed. so do i organize?  no.  actually start packing?  no.  sort stuff?  no.  

photo from in stitches

sew this great apron from amy butler’s in stitches while elisha is away and can’t sword fight the sewing machine with a yardstick?  i think so. 

tigers and tamarinds

we explored the zoo on saturday.  elisha was into the camels and flamingos. mama was into finding shade. omar was into making monkey sounds and asher chilled.  the heat bordered on oppressive but time spent with kids and friends was fun and relaxing.    

we trekked down to a friends house yesterday who lives on several acres filled with mangoes, tomatoes, tamarinds, and lychee trees that seem to refuse to produce the lychees.  we found a few, though, and asher is henceforth an avid lychee fan.  we came home with bags of fruit and veggies that prompted omar to make this for dinner.  

omar looked at me this morning while i was peeling a mango and said, “and you wanted to leave miami…”  i know, i know.  while i’m up to my elbows in tamarinds (the sour kind that make me think i’m eating “natural” sour patch kids), peppers, and avocados i’m blissfully happy.  but i’ll get back to you when a hurricane decides to run through here knocking down both the power lines that supply cool air and those trees that produce such goodness.

 

sad

sad is when you open your freezer door and there is a container full of homemade ice cream that just didn’t make the cut.  and it’s vanilla.  how did we go wrong?  three cheers for omar, though, who took it upon himself to dust off our ice cream machine.  sad, indeed.  it’s more like ice milk, and we’re not fans of that. but our friend abbie digs it, so abbie, come on over.  it’s all yours.

some rain and then some

i am always up for a good rainy and stormy day.  but three days in a row when there is a serious grocery run that needs to be done is a bit much.  even for me.  the apartment that is really dark at 9 am is putting us all out of sorts.  elisha came up to me begging for pig and and his other buddy and for his quilt.  so back to bed for that little one and asher didn’t protest his dark corner a few minutes later.  

so to substitute for some sun i’m sitting in the kitchen surrounding myself with all that is yellow.  not too hard in mango colored kitchen with appliances that by chance match.  that cute little vacuum arrived yesterday (our ups man bid us a fond farewell when he delivered it and told me to buy something before we moved so he could say hi one last time…so nice!) and elisha is ecstatic.

hope your thursday is sunny.

i was hoping there would be something yellow and sweet swirling around in this mixer.  alas, no eggs.  or milk.  or vanilla.  and i think i’m short on butter.  stinking rain.

may i have a napkin

yes, it took over three months but here you have it, a napkin.  i pulled the sewing machine out and because i couldn’t stand the idea of wasting fabric while learning to sew, napkins seemed to make sense.  so if you come over, i’ll be sure to let you use one.  but you are not allowed to make fun of wonky stitches or uneven sizes.

i figured the occasion called for a proper dinner to try the napkin out.  omar is out for the night and i would usually keep it low key.  but hunger and the desire to celebrate my newfound crafting resulted in pork chops and roasted potatoes.

napkin #2 was about to materialize tonight but about a boy and a bowl of ice cream interrupted.  

funky monday

i woke up this morning freaking out but i didn’t know why.  i walked around the house clutching my coffee mug and felt so stressed out.  after about 30 minutes i remembered why.  in my dreams last night omar was called out of town unexpectedly and i had to preach a sermon for him at the last minute.  ha!

i’ve been following up a lead on a van on craigslist.  i came across something that seemed too good to be true.  it was.  trust me, you will get no money out of me if you tell me a sob story about how you have a baby girl, need to sell an almost new van for less than one quarter of its value to move into a bigger house, and then won’t let me look at the van before i send you the money.  i’m no sucker. 

i planned our errand outing miserably and had no food to give elisha for lunch. target to the rescue.  i end up passing back cheese sticks, fruit snacks, and endless amounts of cheerios to elisha and pretending that would pass as lunch.

i learned the hard way that taking your toddler and infant into a fabric shop isn’t always the wisest move.  especially when the lady helping us freaks elisha out beyond belief and we have to scurry out of there before we earn the evil eye of everyone in there.

i end the day with possibly one of the oddest library selections to date:  dvds – a mighty wind, fiddler on the roof, about a boy, miami vice season 1 (i know, i know – groan away), a sherlock holmes mystery.  books – gilead by marilynne robinson, boys adrift by leonard sax, and cook with jamie by jamie oliver. 

my apologies

to the makers of the bialetti mukka express, i owe you my apologies.  i purchased you with a gift card for fun and wasn’t impressed.  i then talked smack about you for a couple of years.  i adore your other stovetop espresso maker (my heavens, though, are you pricey here in the states), but the mukka was banished to the top of the fridge.  a few weeks ago i took pity on the mukka and tried it out.  lo and behold it actually worked.  there was real creamy frothed milk!  amazing.  the jury is still out on my opinion of the flavor, but my husband is happy with it.  he can be the mukka in the family.

bookish

grandma comes to town.  the kids help her spin salad, wash cars and create play-doh magnificence.  

mama is able to steal extra bits of quiet time and read everything from the serious (tim keller’s the reason for god) to the frivolous (my last supper:  50 great chefs and their final meals).

i’m still trudging through the reason for god.  i am finding i need to read it slowly. i read this passage the other day and it fits well with what i’m reading in n.t. wright’s surprised by hope.

We modern people think of miracles as the suspension of the natural order, but Jesus meant them to be the restoration of the natural order.  The Bible tells us that God did not originally make the world to have disease, hunger, and death in it.  Jesus has come to redeem where it is wrong and heal the world where it is broken.  His miracles are not just proofs that he has power but also wonderful foretastes of what he is going to do with that power.  Jesus’s miracles are not just a challenge to our minds, but a promise to our hearts, that the world we all want is coming.

melanie dunea’s my last supper:  50 great chefs and their final meals was a fun browse.  she asked 50 chefs what their last meal would be, who would make it, who they would eat with, what they would drink, and what they would listen to.  a picture accompanied each entry.  i heard an interview about this book a ways back and remember that one chef said he’d have shellfish and eat with people who keep kosher so they could taste what they are missing.  and that he’d want himself or a rabbi to prepare it.  i remember thinking, “hmm, either this guy is being funny, or sweet (wanting people to truly enjoy what they believe they cannot), or kind of cruel.”  

my brother-in-law worked for chef masa takayama for a bit.  then through a series of events it was discovered that masa is um…crazy? and was let go in a rather unfortunate manner.  who is the chef who wanted to eat with those who keep kosher?  that would be masa takayama.  so i’m thinking he wasn’t trying to be funny or sweet.

 

in my business

little hands and voices are everywhere.  all the time.  i get frustrated.  then frustrated because i’m frustrated because he’s just so curious and wants to be right there with me.  so i tell him stories.  

a box of cds and old tapes i’m trying to sort.  i tell him about these anne of green gables tapes and how i’ll read him the story one day.

the measuring cup full of lentils.  little hands spill them, so i line some up on the counter and tell him how these little lentils all need to take a trip to the trash can. one by one.  he complies and thinks it’s fun.

interrupting at all times to inquire about asher’s diaper status (weird and funny all at the same time).  i thank him for his concern over his brother and ask him to hunt down some diapers to remedy any possible situation.

the wrapping paper and trimmings.  my compulsion towards orderliness can’t take this one so i shoo him out of the closet.  

bring on the radishes

omar and i joined our local csa (community supported agriculture) a year and a half ago, but we didn’t sign up for this past year. i believe it was my way of trying to convince myself that we would be moving, wouldn’t be around for an entire season, and therefore shouldn’t make such a costly investment. um, we’re still here. about a month into last year’s season we were kicking ourselves that we hadn’t joined. yesterday we got a renewal notice, though, so i’m proud to say we are back in the csa business.

check out local harvest to see if you have any good farmer’s markets or csa’s in your area. and check out this little map from epicurious. it’s not the most detailed (trust me, there is a big difference between what can grow in south florida and tallahassee) but it helps put you on the right track for trying to buy local and hopefully cheaper produce.

and because one can never have too many cookbooks, you should take a look at tastebook.  it is a cookbook you put together with recipes from partner site epicurious (which includes gourmet and bon appetit recipes) and from your own collection.  you choose a cover, a title, add your recipes and some pictures and there you go!  it borders on brilliance.  initially you could only have a picture if the original epicurious recipe had one.  i was a bit neurotic about this and would only try recipes if they had a picture because i never knew if i’d add them to my tastebook, and heaven forbid there be a recipe without a picture.  well my neurosis can take a hike because now you can add your own pictures.  you can also make your collection available to others to buy. seriously, very cool. 

arky arky no more

this is asher’s handiwork of our “wee sing bible songs” book.  it was quite timely, i must admit.  i just finished a section of n.t. wright’s surprised by hope where he is laying the foundation for our confusion about heaven, where it is, and what it will be like.  i think “confusion” puts it lightly, too.  more and more i’m realizing how our view of heaven affects our day-to-day life on this earth.  here is a quote:

“God’s kingdom” in the preaching of Jesus refers not to postmortem destiny, not to our escape from this world into another one, but to God’s sovereign rule coming “on earth as it is in heaven.”  The roots of the misunderstanding go very deep, not least into the residual Platonism that has infected whole swaths of Christian thinking and has misled people into supposing that Christians are meant to devalue this present world and our present bodies and regard them as shabby or shameful.  p.18

wright then uses the subject of hymns as an example where this understanding (or lack of) plays out.  he quotes from hymns like abide with me, it came upon a midnight clear, and how great thou art and points out how they uphold views more similar to romantic poetry, buddhism, and platonism than christianity.  to wright, the issue at stake is teaching and believing incorrectly that heaven is away from this world.  our ultimate destination is not an other-worldly place filled with puffy clouds but it is here on this earth.  yet it will be a restored earth.  this world is precious and ought to be treated as such!

i admit i remember secretly almost dreading heaven when i was little.  i had pictures of clouds and singing while standing in straight lines (not sure where i got that idea).  and then i would feel utterly guilty for thinking such things.  i don’t want my kids to think like this.  i want them to be excited about heaven and teach them a biblical view of what it will be like.  

i have issues with “wee sing bible songs” that go beyond their approach to heaven.  most of the songs are trite and display atrocious theology on all levels (seriously, what in the world does “climb, climb up sunshine mountain” have anything to do with the bible?), but i guess reading on this topic was the kick in the pants i needed to find some other music.  i have taken to singing elisha other songs when he brings me the little book.  i understand why he’s drawn to the songs – they are simple and are usually conducive to hand motions, which he loves. and i will say that kid totes around a hymnal like it’s a toy and asks for singing sessions numerous times throughout the day.  we also have copies of the westminster shorter catechism put to music, but this mama is going to go mad if i have to continue listening to them as much as we do right now.  so, anybody have any ideas out there?  

cherries and chores

elisha has discovered cherries.  i’m a bit perplexed by them, though.  i don’t think they taste like much.  after a round of cherries and pancakes elisha went about his duties.  and asher assisted.

asher was making his way towards the hutch when he saw a little person who looked quite a bit like him.

so off he went to meet this boy we evidently store with the pots and pans…a spare, perhaps?  and he lost his britches in the process.

from here to there

the kids are napping so i pull out the computer to listen to vol. 90 of mars hill audio journal again. a good portion of this volume discusses the current state of reading in america. several of the guests mention attention span, or the lack thereof. during the first five minutes or so i am thinking to myself, “no, not usually a problem for me. i think i have a fairly good attention span.” perhaps i do. but evidently i have to be taking notes. or crocheting. but the crocheting was set aside because my fingers were getting a bit chocolaty and my current state of mind was showing more allegiance to chocolate than asher’s never-ending blanket. and then the note taking was set aside because my computer is white – a ridiculous computer color in my opinion.

so what happens when my current chocolate fixation prevents me from crocheting or note-taking? i begin to notice how dirty my computer is, think of ways to clean it, look at all the books we have lying around and realize i treat library books much differently than personal books. that glass of water wouldn’t be caught dead on one of my books. i’ll try to amend my ways, i think, but then get depressed because what little of the lectures i happen to be catching lead me to believe i am perhaps one of 3 people who might read this book. i did manage to set aside the chocolate to type out some thoughts during dana gioia’s interview, so i’m not completely hopeless.